Merlin

Born: June 28, 2016
Height: 5' 6"
Weight: 88 lbs.
Sex: Male
Favorite Movie: A Quiet Place
Fun Fact: Merlin’s pretty sure he saw Jason Statham in an airport once
Favorite Product: CBD Tincture
Merlin is a straight-up conspiracy theorist. He makes his own food because he swears the hay on the farm is tracking his movements. He’s built an "end of times" bunker made of his own feces. And he tells everyone he’s been to Area 51, but it’s actually just an abandoned shed nearby. No one dares tell him otherwise.